Post by peterfredson on Nov 28, 2004 9:36:03 GMT -5
ADDLED ADAGES
By Peter Fredson, Esq.
I fed my computer with several hundred adages, maxims, and proverbs. I instructed the computer to split each sentence in half, and then recombine all of the adages, maxims and proverbs. Okay?
Not all the results were edifying, but many were illuminating, genial, amusing, and even educational. Certainly some are equal to the best verbiage of thinkers of the past. Some aren’t.
As it is my burning desire to perform some public service, which does not entail picking up litter from the highways, I hereby grant permission to my colleagues and friends to use the adages, maxims and proverbs for whatever purpose they think is illuminating, genial, amusing or educational. This can include setting the font to 72 points for the purpose of making bumper stickers or mottoes to hang up on their office doors, or to adorn their sweat shirts.
No acknowledgement is necessary, nor thanks, nor showering me with small gifts of food or money. In fact, for the simple fact that I am such a modest person, one of the most modest of modern history, I insist on anonymity. . . . .
The best results are shown below:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A bird in the hands makes quite a mess
A bottomless pit is always open
A dollar a day leads a life of quiet desperation
A drowning man needs no more salt
A full stomach is not a matter of principle
A good answer fits its sails to every wind
A good author is paved with good editions
A good conscience has a silver lining
A good deed can make a good beggar
A good name needs advertising to survive
A good thing often spoils the child
A good wife never knocks twice
A handsome face may be paved with bad intentions
A hungry person is never missed until mealtime
A kind word often is the tool of a con artist
A large nose spites its face
A leaking ship is a bad advertisement for a navy
A little gratitude is better than none
A little mirth makes perfect nonsense
A little push makes one speak boldly
A lone sailor stands long in the harbor
A merry life is always liberal
A murky mirror fears no colors
A pig in a poke makes much noise
A pint of wine is half the battle
A rogue is the better for beating
A rolling stone can cause much pain
A rolling stone gathers no broccoli
A roving eye should give thanks
A sackful of money soon finds many friends
A small elephant can break a camel’s back
A small fault may have a large end
A soft answer makes a light heart
A stitch in time is better than none
A woman’s answer never rings quite true
All that glitters makes a shiny end
An idle brain makes a roomy head
An idle brain shames its master
An ounce of prevention makes a pound of a person
An ounce of prevention will never harm you
Brevity lies less
Charity has two sides
Curiosity runs deep
Faint heart is a matter of opinion
Fame is no excuse for tardiness
Fishing begins with one pole
Honesty involves many risks
Ignorance is very liberal
In law one must read between the lies
Indiscretion should shut the door behind it
Lazy youth come in bunches
Love makes strange bedfellows
Love should be taken with a grain of salt
Marriage makes the well run dry
Mediocrity is known by its fruits
Murder is of no country
Necessity has nine lives
Pride is the last refuge of mediocrity
Riding the wind has an invisible means of support
Rubbish won’t run away
Sarcasm can come from any direction
Scalded cats may flock together
Still water lacks imagination
To act on good advice can get one hung
Trouble spares no cost