Post by Swamp Gas on Nov 13, 2004 10:48:22 GMT -5
A christian Porn Site
www.xxxchurch.com/
Christian Porn Sucks!
by Denny Eichhorn
In case no one’s noticed lately, the so-called “Christians” think they’re running things in this country! They’ve managed to make their presence felt in all areas of finance and commerce, as well as in the military, politics, jurisprudence, and law enforcement. As the United States government continues to lock down its citizenry and dismantle our hard-earned civil rights under the pretext of fighting “wars” against terrorism and drugs, many of the evangelic “Christians” press avidly to the forefront of these actions, welcoming the dissolution of our freedoms with a fanatic Armageddon-heralding glee.
As if that weren’t bad enough, the forces of commercialized Jesus have moved into the nethermost realms of the marketplace. No vice is beyond their avaricious grasp. Take, for example, the despicable phenomenon of Christian porn.
There’s no doubt that American televangelists, surely the most visible of the “Christian” hucksters, learned long ago that sex sells, and déclassé sex sells even better. We need look no further than the former Tammy Faye Bakker to see a perfect example of the worshipper made up to look like a slut, all in the name of the money-grubbers’ patented give-me-a-buck-because-I-worship-Jesus solicitations! This thinly veiled prostitute-style titillation rules the “Christian” airwaves, and has done so for a long time.
But the “Christian” whoremongers have taken it a step beyond, way beyond the empty promises of the fallen-angel wannabes whom they parade across our TV screens on the “Christian” channels. And by that I mean the God-fearin’ faction that has moved into the lucrative business of making pornographic films and carved out a whole new genre: Christian porn.
Basically stated, the purveyors of this faith-laced garbage have focused on the oldest gimmick known to film hucksters: Promise the viewers some raw pussy or bare dick, and they’ll pay a lot of money to see it. With that in mind, take a peek at Debbi Does Sodom, a 35-minute
VHS opus distributed by Saviour Video, complete with a rendering of the “Christian” fish on the logo.
Debbi, played by Tanya Yorke, is an American tourist in the city of Sodom who goes to a bistro, where she meets several men who invite her to a private party at their clubhouse. Debbi accepts and relocates to a seedy ballroom where techno music is throbbing relentlessly. She takes a tablet of Ecstasy and falls into a drugged trance, dancing seductively to the music, then having wild sex with four men at the same time as the copulating group undulates in rhythm with the music.
Suddenly this exceptionally erotic tableau is shattered by the appearance of a police assault team, which bursts through the doors with guns drawn. Debbi’s paramours are brutally beaten, and she is marched nude from the clubhouse into a waiting van. There she encounters two “Christian” evangelists who do their best to help Debbi regain the road to righteousness, by preaching to her and quoting Scripture as the van speeds away through the night. The film ends with Debbi, who has been saved and is now a born-again “Christian,” wearing a choir robe and plastered with lots of cosmetics, singing the glories of Jesus.
This appalling artifact of contemporary decadence costs $29.95. It’s the seventh in a series of 12 video adventures. All have quasi-biblical themes and feature the redemption of lustful sinners whose transgressions are vividly portrayed: Candi Does Babylon, Ricki Does Mesopotamia … it’s an incredible list. Are there no lengths to which these people will not go to make a buck? Saviour Video isn’t the only source of these depraved dramas. It’s an entire genre, already lodged solidly within its niche and busily cranking out pious product. Strange that there would be a market for such unalloyed garbage, but there is—and apparently, a rather hefty one.
“I can’t keep up with the demand,” says Reverend Edward Flenky, 53-year-old owner of Saviour Video and creator of most of its inventory. “I’m constantly writing and filming new material, in addition to running my busy merchandising business. There are a lot of viewers out there who want to see Brandi take it up the ass and then get saved!”<br>
Reverend Flenky, a self-described “witnessing evangelist,” sees himself as a practicing “Christian.” “I’m spreading the Good Word,” he claims. “The Word of God. There is redemption for all sinners. The fact that we depict the sins adds to the flavor of the message. In the same way that the anti-abortionist forces display photographs of aborted fetuses, we show the actual carnal acts of the offending sinners. Why not? We display the redemptions, too.”<br>
There isn’t much redemption to be found in Mr. and Mrs. Christ, which features the sexual escapades of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. The debauchery goes on for nearly an hour, as Felipe Marlowe, the prodigiously endowed actor who portrays Jesus, copulates with Mary, played by Anita Storm, in dozens of convoluted positions straight out of the Kama Sutra. The film’s denouement comes three minutes before its end, as Jesus hears the voice of Jehovah commanding Him to fulfill His destiny, then leaves sexuality behind as He goes to Golgotha. The final scene features Jesus on the cross, a weeping Mary Magdalene at its base. “Was it good for you, baby?” she asks in a quavering voice, tears running down her cheeks. “The earth moved,” Jesus answers, a smile on His bearded, bloody face.
Mr. and Mrs. Christ is advertised as “A scorching look at the Son of God’s lust for life.” It sells for $49.95, and is available in both VHS and DVD formats. Faithful Films of Fresno, the progenitor of this opus, takes great pride in its “vivid color and throbbing sound.” “We try to attain the highest level of technical competence possible with our films,” boasts Tor Monesto, founder and owner of Faithful Films of Fresno. “We embrace modern technology and make full use of it in spreading our message.”<br>
And what message would that be? “That there is an animal, primitive aspect to our Christian faith that needs to be recognized, perhaps emphasized, in order to more fully appreciate the state of grace that is possible when we give ourselves over to the will of God,” asserts Monesto.
Faithful Films of Fresno offers other Christian porn productions, though not all are aimed at mainstream (whatever that means in this case) viewers. One notable foray to the outskirts of outrageousness is The Last Schtupper, which portrays the 12 disciples and Jesus (again played by Felipe Marlowe) as party-hearty homosexuals. There’s plenty of sucking and rearing in this demented work, and The Last Schtupper winds up as a full-blown all-gay orgy, which culminates in a 13-member penis-up-the-anus daisy chain and a group orgasm.
As in Mr. and Mrs. Christ, the sex is a lengthy prelude to a brief declaration of faith at the film’s end, again on Mount Calvary. The disciples (even Judas) cast aside their pink robes and don pure white ones, becoming heterosexuals in the wake of Jesus’ passing.
“We loved Jesus so much, we wanted to have sex with Him,” declaims the actor (Johnny Starvik) who plays Saint Paul. “Now we must put our carnal love behind us and demonstrate our greater love for the Lord.”<br>
“We sell a lot of copies of The Last Schtupper,” claims Monesto. “This film resonates with a lot of people. We’ve got a companion film in the works now: The Two Marys. It’s a thoughtful exploration of a lesbian relationship, which the two protagonists abandon after the crucifixion. We hope to be ready to ship within a month. Already our preorders are astonishing. There is a tremendous demand for our product, and it’s growing rapidly.”<br>
Although it’s unlikely that we’ll be seeing these productions on TV in the near future, eventually … who knows? Remember, these people will do everything they can to separate the denizens of the great wasteland from their money. It’s not inconceivable that someday there will be a Christian porn channel in the pay-per-view section of our cable listings.
With self-rationalists such as Reverend Flenky and Tor Monesto at work in this medium, there’s no telling what new nadirs of bad taste Christian porn will plumb. Rest assured that Christian porn will transcend bad taste and push the boundaries of free speech and expression to new limits—limits that really do not need to be visited.
www.xxxchurch.com/
Christian Porn Sucks!
by Denny Eichhorn
In case no one’s noticed lately, the so-called “Christians” think they’re running things in this country! They’ve managed to make their presence felt in all areas of finance and commerce, as well as in the military, politics, jurisprudence, and law enforcement. As the United States government continues to lock down its citizenry and dismantle our hard-earned civil rights under the pretext of fighting “wars” against terrorism and drugs, many of the evangelic “Christians” press avidly to the forefront of these actions, welcoming the dissolution of our freedoms with a fanatic Armageddon-heralding glee.
As if that weren’t bad enough, the forces of commercialized Jesus have moved into the nethermost realms of the marketplace. No vice is beyond their avaricious grasp. Take, for example, the despicable phenomenon of Christian porn.
There’s no doubt that American televangelists, surely the most visible of the “Christian” hucksters, learned long ago that sex sells, and déclassé sex sells even better. We need look no further than the former Tammy Faye Bakker to see a perfect example of the worshipper made up to look like a slut, all in the name of the money-grubbers’ patented give-me-a-buck-because-I-worship-Jesus solicitations! This thinly veiled prostitute-style titillation rules the “Christian” airwaves, and has done so for a long time.
But the “Christian” whoremongers have taken it a step beyond, way beyond the empty promises of the fallen-angel wannabes whom they parade across our TV screens on the “Christian” channels. And by that I mean the God-fearin’ faction that has moved into the lucrative business of making pornographic films and carved out a whole new genre: Christian porn.
Basically stated, the purveyors of this faith-laced garbage have focused on the oldest gimmick known to film hucksters: Promise the viewers some raw pussy or bare dick, and they’ll pay a lot of money to see it. With that in mind, take a peek at Debbi Does Sodom, a 35-minute
VHS opus distributed by Saviour Video, complete with a rendering of the “Christian” fish on the logo.
Debbi, played by Tanya Yorke, is an American tourist in the city of Sodom who goes to a bistro, where she meets several men who invite her to a private party at their clubhouse. Debbi accepts and relocates to a seedy ballroom where techno music is throbbing relentlessly. She takes a tablet of Ecstasy and falls into a drugged trance, dancing seductively to the music, then having wild sex with four men at the same time as the copulating group undulates in rhythm with the music.
Suddenly this exceptionally erotic tableau is shattered by the appearance of a police assault team, which bursts through the doors with guns drawn. Debbi’s paramours are brutally beaten, and she is marched nude from the clubhouse into a waiting van. There she encounters two “Christian” evangelists who do their best to help Debbi regain the road to righteousness, by preaching to her and quoting Scripture as the van speeds away through the night. The film ends with Debbi, who has been saved and is now a born-again “Christian,” wearing a choir robe and plastered with lots of cosmetics, singing the glories of Jesus.
This appalling artifact of contemporary decadence costs $29.95. It’s the seventh in a series of 12 video adventures. All have quasi-biblical themes and feature the redemption of lustful sinners whose transgressions are vividly portrayed: Candi Does Babylon, Ricki Does Mesopotamia … it’s an incredible list. Are there no lengths to which these people will not go to make a buck? Saviour Video isn’t the only source of these depraved dramas. It’s an entire genre, already lodged solidly within its niche and busily cranking out pious product. Strange that there would be a market for such unalloyed garbage, but there is—and apparently, a rather hefty one.
“I can’t keep up with the demand,” says Reverend Edward Flenky, 53-year-old owner of Saviour Video and creator of most of its inventory. “I’m constantly writing and filming new material, in addition to running my busy merchandising business. There are a lot of viewers out there who want to see Brandi take it up the ass and then get saved!”<br>
Reverend Flenky, a self-described “witnessing evangelist,” sees himself as a practicing “Christian.” “I’m spreading the Good Word,” he claims. “The Word of God. There is redemption for all sinners. The fact that we depict the sins adds to the flavor of the message. In the same way that the anti-abortionist forces display photographs of aborted fetuses, we show the actual carnal acts of the offending sinners. Why not? We display the redemptions, too.”<br>
There isn’t much redemption to be found in Mr. and Mrs. Christ, which features the sexual escapades of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. The debauchery goes on for nearly an hour, as Felipe Marlowe, the prodigiously endowed actor who portrays Jesus, copulates with Mary, played by Anita Storm, in dozens of convoluted positions straight out of the Kama Sutra. The film’s denouement comes three minutes before its end, as Jesus hears the voice of Jehovah commanding Him to fulfill His destiny, then leaves sexuality behind as He goes to Golgotha. The final scene features Jesus on the cross, a weeping Mary Magdalene at its base. “Was it good for you, baby?” she asks in a quavering voice, tears running down her cheeks. “The earth moved,” Jesus answers, a smile on His bearded, bloody face.
Mr. and Mrs. Christ is advertised as “A scorching look at the Son of God’s lust for life.” It sells for $49.95, and is available in both VHS and DVD formats. Faithful Films of Fresno, the progenitor of this opus, takes great pride in its “vivid color and throbbing sound.” “We try to attain the highest level of technical competence possible with our films,” boasts Tor Monesto, founder and owner of Faithful Films of Fresno. “We embrace modern technology and make full use of it in spreading our message.”<br>
And what message would that be? “That there is an animal, primitive aspect to our Christian faith that needs to be recognized, perhaps emphasized, in order to more fully appreciate the state of grace that is possible when we give ourselves over to the will of God,” asserts Monesto.
Faithful Films of Fresno offers other Christian porn productions, though not all are aimed at mainstream (whatever that means in this case) viewers. One notable foray to the outskirts of outrageousness is The Last Schtupper, which portrays the 12 disciples and Jesus (again played by Felipe Marlowe) as party-hearty homosexuals. There’s plenty of sucking and rearing in this demented work, and The Last Schtupper winds up as a full-blown all-gay orgy, which culminates in a 13-member penis-up-the-anus daisy chain and a group orgasm.
As in Mr. and Mrs. Christ, the sex is a lengthy prelude to a brief declaration of faith at the film’s end, again on Mount Calvary. The disciples (even Judas) cast aside their pink robes and don pure white ones, becoming heterosexuals in the wake of Jesus’ passing.
“We loved Jesus so much, we wanted to have sex with Him,” declaims the actor (Johnny Starvik) who plays Saint Paul. “Now we must put our carnal love behind us and demonstrate our greater love for the Lord.”<br>
“We sell a lot of copies of The Last Schtupper,” claims Monesto. “This film resonates with a lot of people. We’ve got a companion film in the works now: The Two Marys. It’s a thoughtful exploration of a lesbian relationship, which the two protagonists abandon after the crucifixion. We hope to be ready to ship within a month. Already our preorders are astonishing. There is a tremendous demand for our product, and it’s growing rapidly.”<br>
Although it’s unlikely that we’ll be seeing these productions on TV in the near future, eventually … who knows? Remember, these people will do everything they can to separate the denizens of the great wasteland from their money. It’s not inconceivable that someday there will be a Christian porn channel in the pay-per-view section of our cable listings.
With self-rationalists such as Reverend Flenky and Tor Monesto at work in this medium, there’s no telling what new nadirs of bad taste Christian porn will plumb. Rest assured that Christian porn will transcend bad taste and push the boundaries of free speech and expression to new limits—limits that really do not need to be visited.
