Post by peterfredson on Nov 27, 2004 15:32:24 GMT -5
NIPPLE GATE: (Tempest in a C-Cup),
By Peter Fredson
Dramatist Orson Welles, several decades ago, frightened millions of Americans into panic attacks with a realistic sounding play that had Martians attacking our cities. Listeners hurriedly phoned police stations, the F.B.I., Army posts, Air Force Generals, Congressmen, and even the President to volunteer their aid in fighting evil Martians. This showed Americans to be culturally ignorant, often sheep-like stupid, gullible to the hilt, and easily manipulated by organized effort.
Another trivial event recently led to a vicious battle in the cultural war over American mores. It was precipitated during a brutal entertainment spectacle called the Football Super-Bowl. No, it wasn’t the famous brutality of the sport, in which men try to pull each other’s heads off their shoulders or severely cripple them, but the half-time “entertainment.”<br>
Football should be entertaining enough for one day, when people get well lubricated with liquor, and stimulated by cheer-leaders in scanty outfits, undulating every part of anatomy that can wiggle. But, no, people paying large amounts of their income are not satiated by simply sitting in their seats while the players take a brief rest. They must be “entertained.”<br>
This was once accomplished by a high school or college band marching into the arena, performing gyrations while swinging trumpets, oompaahing on tubas, pounding on large drums, to rousing martial tunes, led by drum majors with big fuzzy headdresses and swinging batons. After that display, the mayhem could commence while a football made its way up and down the field several times until the final whistle blew.
Today an elaborate stage appears at half-time, with lights and microphones, so professional entertainers can stand, dance, wriggle, gyrate, warble, croon, shout and scream. Some are called “super-stars” a ridiculous exaggeration for over-paid hacks whose voices were ruined by whiskey, dope, or by shouting at the top of their over-strained vocal cords, to unrecognizeable lyrics. Some gyrate in costumes designed to show the most flesh without actually violating the tender sensibilities of a puritanical semi-fascist Attorney General who was shocked to find that a statue was anatomically correct, so he spent $8,000.00 of taxpayer money to have a curtain put over the offensive sight of breasts. (My God, can’t a decent citizen walk around Washington anymore without having breasts thrust in his face?)
Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake were invited to gyrate and holler at the Super Bowl. During a dance movement Justin was to reach over and expose a bit of Janet’s garment, but, (here denials and explanations swoop to Mt. Everest heights), it exposed about several square inches of Janet’s mammary tissue plus a medallion cover on Janet’s nipple. The whole affair took but a few seconds. The performers tried to cover “the affair”. Logic then demands that the act should continue, to chalk up the momentary incident to accident, and continue with a commercial of a farting horse.
But, thanks to photography and portable cameras, several hundred observers photographed the entire sequence. A pandemonium evolved, building up gradual momentum into a national emergency, overshadowing the football violence that followed.
In those few seconds half the country noticed what had happened, or were told about it by verbal or electronic magic’ Google Search engine got 300,000 inquiries about nipples, Janet Jackson, and breasts. The torrent of inquiries continued all that day, and much of the next, with everyone eager to actually see that famous nipple, though it was covered by a medallion.
Everyone in the country with a computer, got Janet’s nipple up on their screen, e-mailed it to friends, and before you could say “sin” had passed it all the way around this globe, to China, Burma, India, France (of course), even Germany.
Every angry fundamentalist downloaded the picture, ogled it in deep shock, and sent it to his pastor, reverend, Governor, President, or Attorney General, decrying it as the last gasp of mortal sin and the ruin of what was left of civilization. They used actual words like “horrid”, “shocking”, “lascivious”, “lewd” and “nasty.” One threatened to commit suicide as life was no longer worth living in such a sin-filled world. How can one remain pure with big breasts floating all around one?
Reading fundamentalist blobs in the next few days you might think that a medallion-covered nipple was responsible for all the illegal conceptions that day, week and month. They were certain that Satan was behind the whole devilish act, laughing and poking at souls he had ensnared because they gazed on (Oh, My God!) mammary tissue. They were equally certain that the performers should never be allowed to perform again, that they be beaten severely, that Janet be made to join a convent, and that massive fines be imposed on everybody concerned as a protection against such evil sights.
Here are a few examples of commentary from blobs, other than outraged puritans and Republicans, selected from over a thousand shown on the WWW.
“<br>“Agree with Margaret. Not that I find the show wholesome, but if those screamers really care about the moral condition of America (or does it even exist?), I believe they could and would have done a lot about it long ago. Hypocrites are far more dangerous than boob-flashers. So, to the false puritans out there, cut the act. We're all tired of this”<br>Posted by: JTY at February 4, 2004 07:11 PM
““Does anyone know how many US soldiers have died since we were attacked by Janet’s nipple? Can you believe that our government is now working to protect us from further exposure to naked nipples? Didn't anyone see Jason Timberlake rip her top off? Nothing wrong with that eh? Not titillating enough?”<br>
"It's easier for this president and this White House to talk about Janet’s right breast and gay marriage than it is to talk about the soaring deficit, the loss of 2.2 million jobs in the last three years, and the outsourcing of the American labor force.”<br>
”The Janet Jackson fiasco sure got that republican Congress holding hearings on media indecency in a heartbeat –what is with these bozos? Why are they wasting their time on that when we’re at war with the WMDless Iraq---our soldiers are dying---employment has tanked---jobs being shipped overseas---the rape of Medicare and on and on.”<br>
“And the next stage is already upon the American citizens. A proposed bill seeks to provide "punishment" for the broadcasting of certain "profane" words in the mass media. Punishment is not defined in more detail, but we assume one can drop the finger chopping and settle on financial punishment (while repeating offenders maybe get the ultimate penalty in Texas and Florida).”<br>
The most poignant commentary came from people who point out the Abu Ghraib photographs and the abuse and torture perpetrated by Americans on Muslims. See the photo of a man threatened by a police dog, or of a pile of naked men with an American woman pointing derisively at them. That will outdo any horror, sin, malevolence, or immorality of any fundamentalist decrying the shameful sight of a tiny portion of female anatomy, but no fundamentalist will “get” it. Why? Because it is okay to kill or maim Muslims, but to catch sight of a nipple will send the viewer straight to the fundamentalist’s Hell.
The FCC received over 200,000 e-mails and letters, most harshly critical of everything and everybody involved. With calls for heavy fines and license revocations, many people suggested that the performers be whipped or jailed. Many letter writers claimed they were watching the game with a church group, horrifying them when Jackson's tit appeared.
Some letter-writers claimed to be still in shock but none of their e-mail provided to TSG (pursuant to a Freedom of Information request) was sent right after the game. It was only sent after the American Family Association and other evangelical conservative groups began organized deliberate screaming that the flood of e-mail began. Many e-mails were worded identically, and it was obvious that some of the writers did not actually see the incident itself, but were offended by the mere possibility that it took place somewhere, and they stood ready to defend God, Bush and Morality at any moment.
We now will see a flood of self-appointed censors, triumphant in their new theocracy, control everything said or done in any media, under grave penalties.
A mere nipple has imperiled our democracy. America, under Bush, will revive all the old “Blue Laws”, and institute public trials for obscenity and blasphemy. Talk about “chilling effect!” Although the Arctic wastes might be warming up, America itself will become frostily puritan. It already is tantamount to treason to criticize the “war-time” President, even though the “war” was created deliberately from misinformation, yet because Bush talks to God it must be moral.
By Peter Fredson
Dramatist Orson Welles, several decades ago, frightened millions of Americans into panic attacks with a realistic sounding play that had Martians attacking our cities. Listeners hurriedly phoned police stations, the F.B.I., Army posts, Air Force Generals, Congressmen, and even the President to volunteer their aid in fighting evil Martians. This showed Americans to be culturally ignorant, often sheep-like stupid, gullible to the hilt, and easily manipulated by organized effort.
Another trivial event recently led to a vicious battle in the cultural war over American mores. It was precipitated during a brutal entertainment spectacle called the Football Super-Bowl. No, it wasn’t the famous brutality of the sport, in which men try to pull each other’s heads off their shoulders or severely cripple them, but the half-time “entertainment.”<br>
Football should be entertaining enough for one day, when people get well lubricated with liquor, and stimulated by cheer-leaders in scanty outfits, undulating every part of anatomy that can wiggle. But, no, people paying large amounts of their income are not satiated by simply sitting in their seats while the players take a brief rest. They must be “entertained.”<br>
This was once accomplished by a high school or college band marching into the arena, performing gyrations while swinging trumpets, oompaahing on tubas, pounding on large drums, to rousing martial tunes, led by drum majors with big fuzzy headdresses and swinging batons. After that display, the mayhem could commence while a football made its way up and down the field several times until the final whistle blew.
Today an elaborate stage appears at half-time, with lights and microphones, so professional entertainers can stand, dance, wriggle, gyrate, warble, croon, shout and scream. Some are called “super-stars” a ridiculous exaggeration for over-paid hacks whose voices were ruined by whiskey, dope, or by shouting at the top of their over-strained vocal cords, to unrecognizeable lyrics. Some gyrate in costumes designed to show the most flesh without actually violating the tender sensibilities of a puritanical semi-fascist Attorney General who was shocked to find that a statue was anatomically correct, so he spent $8,000.00 of taxpayer money to have a curtain put over the offensive sight of breasts. (My God, can’t a decent citizen walk around Washington anymore without having breasts thrust in his face?)
Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake were invited to gyrate and holler at the Super Bowl. During a dance movement Justin was to reach over and expose a bit of Janet’s garment, but, (here denials and explanations swoop to Mt. Everest heights), it exposed about several square inches of Janet’s mammary tissue plus a medallion cover on Janet’s nipple. The whole affair took but a few seconds. The performers tried to cover “the affair”. Logic then demands that the act should continue, to chalk up the momentary incident to accident, and continue with a commercial of a farting horse.
But, thanks to photography and portable cameras, several hundred observers photographed the entire sequence. A pandemonium evolved, building up gradual momentum into a national emergency, overshadowing the football violence that followed.
In those few seconds half the country noticed what had happened, or were told about it by verbal or electronic magic’ Google Search engine got 300,000 inquiries about nipples, Janet Jackson, and breasts. The torrent of inquiries continued all that day, and much of the next, with everyone eager to actually see that famous nipple, though it was covered by a medallion.
Everyone in the country with a computer, got Janet’s nipple up on their screen, e-mailed it to friends, and before you could say “sin” had passed it all the way around this globe, to China, Burma, India, France (of course), even Germany.
Every angry fundamentalist downloaded the picture, ogled it in deep shock, and sent it to his pastor, reverend, Governor, President, or Attorney General, decrying it as the last gasp of mortal sin and the ruin of what was left of civilization. They used actual words like “horrid”, “shocking”, “lascivious”, “lewd” and “nasty.” One threatened to commit suicide as life was no longer worth living in such a sin-filled world. How can one remain pure with big breasts floating all around one?
Reading fundamentalist blobs in the next few days you might think that a medallion-covered nipple was responsible for all the illegal conceptions that day, week and month. They were certain that Satan was behind the whole devilish act, laughing and poking at souls he had ensnared because they gazed on (Oh, My God!) mammary tissue. They were equally certain that the performers should never be allowed to perform again, that they be beaten severely, that Janet be made to join a convent, and that massive fines be imposed on everybody concerned as a protection against such evil sights.
Here are a few examples of commentary from blobs, other than outraged puritans and Republicans, selected from over a thousand shown on the WWW.
“<br>“Agree with Margaret. Not that I find the show wholesome, but if those screamers really care about the moral condition of America (or does it even exist?), I believe they could and would have done a lot about it long ago. Hypocrites are far more dangerous than boob-flashers. So, to the false puritans out there, cut the act. We're all tired of this”<br>Posted by: JTY at February 4, 2004 07:11 PM
““Does anyone know how many US soldiers have died since we were attacked by Janet’s nipple? Can you believe that our government is now working to protect us from further exposure to naked nipples? Didn't anyone see Jason Timberlake rip her top off? Nothing wrong with that eh? Not titillating enough?”<br>
"It's easier for this president and this White House to talk about Janet’s right breast and gay marriage than it is to talk about the soaring deficit, the loss of 2.2 million jobs in the last three years, and the outsourcing of the American labor force.”<br>
”The Janet Jackson fiasco sure got that republican Congress holding hearings on media indecency in a heartbeat –what is with these bozos? Why are they wasting their time on that when we’re at war with the WMDless Iraq---our soldiers are dying---employment has tanked---jobs being shipped overseas---the rape of Medicare and on and on.”<br>
“And the next stage is already upon the American citizens. A proposed bill seeks to provide "punishment" for the broadcasting of certain "profane" words in the mass media. Punishment is not defined in more detail, but we assume one can drop the finger chopping and settle on financial punishment (while repeating offenders maybe get the ultimate penalty in Texas and Florida).”<br>
The most poignant commentary came from people who point out the Abu Ghraib photographs and the abuse and torture perpetrated by Americans on Muslims. See the photo of a man threatened by a police dog, or of a pile of naked men with an American woman pointing derisively at them. That will outdo any horror, sin, malevolence, or immorality of any fundamentalist decrying the shameful sight of a tiny portion of female anatomy, but no fundamentalist will “get” it. Why? Because it is okay to kill or maim Muslims, but to catch sight of a nipple will send the viewer straight to the fundamentalist’s Hell.
The FCC received over 200,000 e-mails and letters, most harshly critical of everything and everybody involved. With calls for heavy fines and license revocations, many people suggested that the performers be whipped or jailed. Many letter writers claimed they were watching the game with a church group, horrifying them when Jackson's tit appeared.
Some letter-writers claimed to be still in shock but none of their e-mail provided to TSG (pursuant to a Freedom of Information request) was sent right after the game. It was only sent after the American Family Association and other evangelical conservative groups began organized deliberate screaming that the flood of e-mail began. Many e-mails were worded identically, and it was obvious that some of the writers did not actually see the incident itself, but were offended by the mere possibility that it took place somewhere, and they stood ready to defend God, Bush and Morality at any moment.
We now will see a flood of self-appointed censors, triumphant in their new theocracy, control everything said or done in any media, under grave penalties.
A mere nipple has imperiled our democracy. America, under Bush, will revive all the old “Blue Laws”, and institute public trials for obscenity and blasphemy. Talk about “chilling effect!” Although the Arctic wastes might be warming up, America itself will become frostily puritan. It already is tantamount to treason to criticize the “war-time” President, even though the “war” was created deliberately from misinformation, yet because Bush talks to God it must be moral.