Post by peterfredson on Nov 28, 2004 9:07:19 GMT -5
HELPING GOD
By Peter Fredson
Christians are evidently dedicated to helping their god in anyway possible. But, His mighty fight against Satan also needs the help of the Bush administration, like John Ashcroft singing hymns. Thousands of evangelists plead with Christians to help their god. They now have taken up six of the slots on the cable television that I pay for, but do NOT want to see or hear televangelist blow-hard jumping jacks.
They can help with money, for instance. All the thousands of priests, reverends, parsons, ministers, etc. that make a living from talking about their god, claim that giving money to them will help their god.
Baskets full of money are given to help Jesus. Evidently the people that actually receive the money will hold it in a locked box for the moment that Jesus descends from someplace called Heaven and then they will give him all the accumulated cash for his next sojourn on earth. It must amount to a considerable quantity by now, even at 3% interest.
One wonders if the priestly money-holders will sell their houses, cars, airplanes, swimming pools and other properties they bought with Jesus’ money, converting all to cash, so Jesus can wear expensive suits and shoes like they do, and perhaps they will buy him a stretch limousine so he can ride in style. Having given Jesus all their cash, they will immediately convert to a life-style of poverty.
Evidently the Christian god, or 3-in-one entity, needs their help. Just listen to the evangelists begging for something they can convert to cash. They call it “seed.” and they plant it avidly until their bank accounts swell to bursting with the harvest. And, yet, they continue daily to beg, to plead, for more “help.” Listen to their sermons, broadcasts, radio talks and you hear a constant demand for ‘seed”, for “help” from their fat mouths, from their pudgy frames, from their expensively clothed bodies, emanating from a thousand stations 24 hours a day. Can you say “venal?” I knew you could.
Yes, their god needs their help. According to their Sacred Book their God created everything by simply speaking it. He said, “Let there be light” and there was light. And he made a firmament, and divided waters, and made dry land. He made the sun and the moon and then, almost in an afterthought, casually, seemingly without effort, “He made the stars also.” That was quite an afterthought, to make all of the galaxies, planets, black-holes, stars, meteorites, moons, etc. There must be, as Carl Sagan eloquently said, “Billions and Billions,” of them.
Yet, this entity, or 3-in-one, needs the help of some fat-faced weasels who collect wads of money from gullible congregations and retired people, because this OMNIPOTENT MIGHTY GOD needs Benny Hinn, Ronny Parsley, Tom Brocolli, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and other gesticulating. prancing. ranting. Hallelujah-shouting, bible-thumpers to “help” him.
God wants his helpers to have limousines, airplanes, swimming pools, expensive clothing, the finest food, huge bank accounts, Ferraris, air-conditioned dog-houses, gold-plated bathroom faucets, and other amenities.
Yes, you can see how the preachers fight Satan, to help their God. Look at the wonderful way they helped God by telling the F.C.C. that Janet Jackson exposed about 3 square inches of mammary tissue, leading to Satan harvesting all the souls of everyone gazing on that horrible and shocking sight, from which they still haven’t recovered.
Poor fundamentalist victims were blind-sided by a tit, even shielded by a metal medallion, wounding all their moral sensitivity to the point of agony. If this nation recovers from such a deep lapse of moral degradation, it will be a genuine MIRACLE. So poor John Ashcroft, George Bush, and all the True Believers in the White House will now have to get on their knees and beg their god to forgive this tremendous lapse of morality. In return, they will promise to use some of the Iraq Oil money to build a shrine to Jesus right in the Oval Office.
Then they can forget all the lies, deceit, deceptions, exaggerations, killing, maiming, destruction, impositions, bullying and other lapses committed in their enthusiasm to “help God.” And all will again be right in the world that is just as safe as being in Jesus’ arms. Amen.
By Peter Fredson
Christians are evidently dedicated to helping their god in anyway possible. But, His mighty fight against Satan also needs the help of the Bush administration, like John Ashcroft singing hymns. Thousands of evangelists plead with Christians to help their god. They now have taken up six of the slots on the cable television that I pay for, but do NOT want to see or hear televangelist blow-hard jumping jacks.
They can help with money, for instance. All the thousands of priests, reverends, parsons, ministers, etc. that make a living from talking about their god, claim that giving money to them will help their god.
Baskets full of money are given to help Jesus. Evidently the people that actually receive the money will hold it in a locked box for the moment that Jesus descends from someplace called Heaven and then they will give him all the accumulated cash for his next sojourn on earth. It must amount to a considerable quantity by now, even at 3% interest.
One wonders if the priestly money-holders will sell their houses, cars, airplanes, swimming pools and other properties they bought with Jesus’ money, converting all to cash, so Jesus can wear expensive suits and shoes like they do, and perhaps they will buy him a stretch limousine so he can ride in style. Having given Jesus all their cash, they will immediately convert to a life-style of poverty.
Evidently the Christian god, or 3-in-one entity, needs their help. Just listen to the evangelists begging for something they can convert to cash. They call it “seed.” and they plant it avidly until their bank accounts swell to bursting with the harvest. And, yet, they continue daily to beg, to plead, for more “help.” Listen to their sermons, broadcasts, radio talks and you hear a constant demand for ‘seed”, for “help” from their fat mouths, from their pudgy frames, from their expensively clothed bodies, emanating from a thousand stations 24 hours a day. Can you say “venal?” I knew you could.
Yes, their god needs their help. According to their Sacred Book their God created everything by simply speaking it. He said, “Let there be light” and there was light. And he made a firmament, and divided waters, and made dry land. He made the sun and the moon and then, almost in an afterthought, casually, seemingly without effort, “He made the stars also.” That was quite an afterthought, to make all of the galaxies, planets, black-holes, stars, meteorites, moons, etc. There must be, as Carl Sagan eloquently said, “Billions and Billions,” of them.
Yet, this entity, or 3-in-one, needs the help of some fat-faced weasels who collect wads of money from gullible congregations and retired people, because this OMNIPOTENT MIGHTY GOD needs Benny Hinn, Ronny Parsley, Tom Brocolli, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and other gesticulating. prancing. ranting. Hallelujah-shouting, bible-thumpers to “help” him.
God wants his helpers to have limousines, airplanes, swimming pools, expensive clothing, the finest food, huge bank accounts, Ferraris, air-conditioned dog-houses, gold-plated bathroom faucets, and other amenities.
Yes, you can see how the preachers fight Satan, to help their God. Look at the wonderful way they helped God by telling the F.C.C. that Janet Jackson exposed about 3 square inches of mammary tissue, leading to Satan harvesting all the souls of everyone gazing on that horrible and shocking sight, from which they still haven’t recovered.
Poor fundamentalist victims were blind-sided by a tit, even shielded by a metal medallion, wounding all their moral sensitivity to the point of agony. If this nation recovers from such a deep lapse of moral degradation, it will be a genuine MIRACLE. So poor John Ashcroft, George Bush, and all the True Believers in the White House will now have to get on their knees and beg their god to forgive this tremendous lapse of morality. In return, they will promise to use some of the Iraq Oil money to build a shrine to Jesus right in the Oval Office.
Then they can forget all the lies, deceit, deceptions, exaggerations, killing, maiming, destruction, impositions, bullying and other lapses committed in their enthusiasm to “help God.” And all will again be right in the world that is just as safe as being in Jesus’ arms. Amen.
