Post by Swamp Gas on Feb 8, 2005 10:48:51 GMT -5
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The underwear police may be watching you
January 19, 2005
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Virginia legislators have a penchant for introducing bills that do little to address the public’s most pressing concerns. Now comes a Norfolk lawmaker who wants to ban saggy britches.
Never mind that the state’s rivers and air are polluted. Forget about clogged and deteriorating roads and bridges. Ignore prisoners re-entering their communities without job skills. Don’t improve the school system.
We have underwear to worry about.
Del. Algie T. Howell Jr., a Democrat, has filed legislation that would levy a $50 fine on anyone who “exposes his below-waist undergarments in an offensive manner.”<br>
Apparently Mr. Howell doesn’t like saggy britches as a matter of style, one often associated with the hip-hop/rap culture, though he says the bill is not aimed at any particular group.
What if someone’s saggy britches are a matter of weight loss? What if they are hand-me downs from an older sibling? What if a construction worker’s tool belt pulls his britches too low?
The underwear police will be watching.
Actually, most police officers probably have more important things to worry about.
An awful lot of people would like them to enforce “nuisance” laws already on the books, like littering.
When’s the last time you saw an officer pull someone over for trashing the street?
While there’s no question that some people are offended by exposed underwear, and it would be nice, for example, if schools required children to hide their undergarments and take off their hats, it’s pretty hard to enforce an adult dress code across the land.
And why is Mr. Howell focused below the waist? What about Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction? Doesn’t that offend him?
If people want to look stupid, that’s their choice. It’s part of freedom of expression. Besides, even baggy pants have their place. In Lynchburg, for example, one young man fleeing the police was tripped up by his own sagging trousers, broke his leg and was easily apprehended.
Mr. Howell may also be offended by peroxide-bleached hair, mini skirts, midriffs with pierced belly buttons and tank tops. Are they next?
Such Puritanism certainly would have been endorsed in the time of the Pilgrims. Alas, Mr. Howell was born too late.
In his defense, however, if this proposal had been the law of the land a decade ago, Monica Lewinsky might never have shown her thong to Bill Clinton and destroyed a presidency. The world might arguably be a far better place.
Virginia’s lawmakers seem to have a propensity for getting tangled up in people’s private lives. They worry about who’s having sex with whom - from college students to gays and lesbians. Now they want to create a dress code for all.
Most people figured out a long time ago that there’s no point in trying to legislate morality. Mr. Howell and others like him need to stay out of our bedrooms and out of our pants.
Mr. Howell would argue that only public displays of underwear offend him.
He says if you want to show your underwear in your own private home, that’s OK with him.
What a relief.
The underwear police may be watching you
January 19, 2005
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Virginia legislators have a penchant for introducing bills that do little to address the public’s most pressing concerns. Now comes a Norfolk lawmaker who wants to ban saggy britches.
Never mind that the state’s rivers and air are polluted. Forget about clogged and deteriorating roads and bridges. Ignore prisoners re-entering their communities without job skills. Don’t improve the school system.
We have underwear to worry about.
Del. Algie T. Howell Jr., a Democrat, has filed legislation that would levy a $50 fine on anyone who “exposes his below-waist undergarments in an offensive manner.”<br>
Apparently Mr. Howell doesn’t like saggy britches as a matter of style, one often associated with the hip-hop/rap culture, though he says the bill is not aimed at any particular group.
What if someone’s saggy britches are a matter of weight loss? What if they are hand-me downs from an older sibling? What if a construction worker’s tool belt pulls his britches too low?
The underwear police will be watching.
Actually, most police officers probably have more important things to worry about.
An awful lot of people would like them to enforce “nuisance” laws already on the books, like littering.
When’s the last time you saw an officer pull someone over for trashing the street?
While there’s no question that some people are offended by exposed underwear, and it would be nice, for example, if schools required children to hide their undergarments and take off their hats, it’s pretty hard to enforce an adult dress code across the land.
And why is Mr. Howell focused below the waist? What about Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction? Doesn’t that offend him?
If people want to look stupid, that’s their choice. It’s part of freedom of expression. Besides, even baggy pants have their place. In Lynchburg, for example, one young man fleeing the police was tripped up by his own sagging trousers, broke his leg and was easily apprehended.
Mr. Howell may also be offended by peroxide-bleached hair, mini skirts, midriffs with pierced belly buttons and tank tops. Are they next?
Such Puritanism certainly would have been endorsed in the time of the Pilgrims. Alas, Mr. Howell was born too late.
In his defense, however, if this proposal had been the law of the land a decade ago, Monica Lewinsky might never have shown her thong to Bill Clinton and destroyed a presidency. The world might arguably be a far better place.
Virginia’s lawmakers seem to have a propensity for getting tangled up in people’s private lives. They worry about who’s having sex with whom - from college students to gays and lesbians. Now they want to create a dress code for all.
Most people figured out a long time ago that there’s no point in trying to legislate morality. Mr. Howell and others like him need to stay out of our bedrooms and out of our pants.
Mr. Howell would argue that only public displays of underwear offend him.
He says if you want to show your underwear in your own private home, that’s OK with him.
What a relief.